Essays & Articles

Kids and money

by Bobbi Holmes

     Disneyland, Knott’s Berry Farm, Magic Mountain, the State Fair, amusement parks….all of these are great family destinations, yet the cost of the admission ticket alone can put a severe crimp in the family budget. Once at the park children are so tempted by the wide array of food and gift choices that a day intended for family fun can sometimes turn into an unpleasant nag fest. While it is a parent’s job to say “no” at appropriate times, saying no during a special day intended for family togetherness can definitely diminish the fun for both adult and child.
       When our children were in elementary school we came up with a plan that took the “yes” and “no” spending decision out of our hands, and placed it into theirs. 
       We were off to Disneyland, and during previous visits our son would badger us for a treat each time we passed a vendor, or nagged us to buy souvenirs from the various shops.    Before going to the amusement park we told our children how much we could afford to spend for the day. We then explained that we would be giving them each their share of the money, and it would be totally their decision how to spend it.  The money would cover any of the day’s food, beverages or souvenirs.  If they wanted to spend the entire amount on frozen bananas, that was their choice.  But once their portion was gone, it was gone.
     To avoid the possibility of our children losing their money, we placed their funds in separate envelopes, and I offered to keep it for them.  Whenever they wanted to buy something, they just needed to ask for the money.
     It was interesting how differently our two children budgeted their portion.  Our daughter, who is three years younger than her brother, and was barely old enough to add, breezed through the day.  At lunch time she allotted money for her food and beverage, and managed to buy a snack and souvenirs.  Our son, who usually found something he *had* to have at every corner, turned into a nervous miser. At lunch time he wouldn’t even splurge for a soda, and when he saw something he wanted to buy, he studied it until he decided he didn’t need it. 
     By the end of the day our daughter had spent her share, and seemed quite pleased with the choices she’d made.  Our son, who had spent very little, was suddenly frantic to buy something (anything) with his remaining cash.  I felt a little sorry for him, because while we (as parents) had an enjoyable day, free from the responsibility of monitoring our children’s spending, his day was spent dealing with the consequences of his choices.
     In retrospect, was this a successful parenting technique? Did our son learn a valuable lesson that helped him make wiser spending choices? I suspect the only one that learned anything that day was me, who gained insight into the differences between our two children.  Innate differences, that may have nothing to do with nurture, yet everything to do with what makes them each unique individuals.
    Our children are adults now. In some ways they are similar.  They each landed their first job by the time they were thirteen. As small children, they never threw fits at the grocery store because we refused to buy them a treat. The reason, it was something we never started, therefore something they never expected. I'm proud to say they are both hard workers, and have managed their own money since they were young teenagers.  Yet, in spite of their similarities, they continue to approach management of their money in unique ways.  In some ways, not so different from those two young children at Disneyland.